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A Letter to Empaths

Dear Empaths,

You are not doomed to ultra-sensitivity for your whole life.

I thought I was doomed. Or, at least had come to accept the fact that I was a highly sensitive person and would always have to take extreme precautions to make sure my energy was protected.

I was wrong. I’ll be honest, I am just learning this now. I didn't know it was really possible until I had the experience.

The part of us that is ultra-sensitive is usually just a protection mechanism that constantly has it's “feelers” out for our own safety. This makes our energy boundaries weak. I knew this, but I figured I would still need to make sure I spent plenty of time in nature, avoided crowded cities, spent a ton of time alone, saged the crap out of myself all the time, etc.

Then, all of the sudden, it shifted.

I do extensive (and effective) internal work. I receive weekly sessions from some of the most powerful healers in the world. At some point in my healing, I healed the part of me that was constantly leaving my body to feel for my own safety. I developed a stronger energy boundary by simply filling my own field with more of me.

I stopped feeling super sensitive and my empathic abilities became more manageable. I can now turn them on and off.

I recently moved to LA, which I never in a million years thought I would do. I had always declared I was not a city girl. Luckily, I have also learned to challenge the part of me that says “this is just the way I am” anytime I said it. We are not set in stone. We are ever changing. What is true now may not be true in a couple years. When we realize this, we can let go a little more and be open to change.

Now I see that this is where I am meant to be so my journey prepared me to be here. And that the universe never “damns” us to be so sensitive that it takes all our energy to maintain.

Our empathic abilities are a gift, not a curse. Being empathic and sensitive, we mostly likely suffered a lot of trauma in our nervous systems because most of us didn’t have anyone to teach us how to manage it or why we were feeling all of the things we were feeling. It was probably totally misunderstood. I know mine was mistaken for depression and I was put on medication. We also probably developed the habit of trying to heal everyone around us when we were younger by literally taking it on. This is what happened to me. I had to learn to stop doing this. Just because I have healing abilities doesn’t mean it is my responsibility to heal everyone I come in contact with.

I used to always feel everyone's stuff and be highly aware of patterning they were in because of my training. I would try to help or offer my services. I would often offer unsolicited advice. Now, I know that when somebody is ready for what I have to offer, they will find me. I also understand that we all have wounding and it's simply a part of being human. It's not everyone's journey to heal it all either. The ones that are meant to probably are. They will have the same feeling I did: that there is more. They will go searching on their own. We can't heal everyone and we don't need to. If you're an empath, start to observe if this is a pattern for you as well. Are you trying to ease everyone's suffering?

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once we realize we are not “doomed” to be as fragile as glass, we can start to be open to other possibilities.

When we get caught up in "good/bad" energy and consciously separate ourselves from the “bad”, we are only perpetuating more separation on the planet. This does not mean we should allow ourselves to be walked on our abused in any way. It means to notice the judgments we have for people who are different than us. Or who aren’t ultra-spiritual or on the path in anyway. They are still on THEIR path. And they deserve love just like anyone else.

Your sensitivity to their wounding is your responsibility not theirs. And remember that people's hurtful actions come from just that, wounding. They are actually doing the absolute best they can with what they are give. Because that's all we ever do. Our best.

So as empaths, its crucial we learn to manage our own energy rather than blaming others or separating ourselves from those we deem (energetically) unworthy. Even those “energy vampires” out there deserve love. There are tools you can use to hold space without letting yourself be drained. It's all about energetic boundaries.

Often we confuse walls for boundaries. Walls will keep us isolated and blaming others. Boundaries allow us to stay in connection. And yes, sometimes we will have to separate ourselves from certain people. But we can do so with love. Without labeling them as “toxic” or assholes, or energy suckers.

I have found since my shift happened that I no longer need to cut people out of my life. We may go our separate ways but again, it's done in love and understanding.

Below are some good resources for managing your energy. I'd love to support you on this journey as well. I know that I can only heal in others what I have healed in myself so I am happy to add this to my extensive repertoire.

Happy Healing Empaths :)

Book Suggestions:

Light Emerging by Barbara Brennan - she offers techniques on how to hold your energy while you are with somebody who is really struggling.

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